I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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