Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
