he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
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he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I forget how to act sober
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize