Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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