All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
