bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
