Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
