so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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