so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
