Plan B is the new Plan A
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
two words...techno handjob
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
