in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
