just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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