I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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