I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
