Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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