He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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