Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I see more hoeing in ur future
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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