bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize