I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
