put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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