If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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