so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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