i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
A+ Viking dick
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
