Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
