My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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