I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
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Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
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When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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