When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
A+ Viking dick
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
