I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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