Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
