i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
