you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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