why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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