I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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