I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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