she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
