there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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