just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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