First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize