are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
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It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
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He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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