That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
