You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
