I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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