Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
