i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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