you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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