I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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