I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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