in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
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I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
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"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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