I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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