i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
there is glitter all over my balls
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