I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
