So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
