just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
