oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
